Mar. 9th, 2008

I have to write a 1,400-1750-word paper on a healthy eating plan based on the MyPyramid.gov recommendations. The problem is that this tool gives recommendations for healthy adults. I have a digestive disorder. I am not healthy by their definition and if I eat as much fiber as they're suggesting, I'll be trying to claw my stomach out.

I have to go to work tomorrow. Fuck fuck fuckity fuck.

Sigh... I hate life at the moment. I almost wish they would fire me. I can guarantee that if they fired me for attendance, I would get unemployment because I've given them doctor's notes every blessed time I've used sick time since I got off disability. I have quite a bit of money saved, between cash savings, savings account and the 401k, so I wouldn't need to get another job immediately, especially since Cal would still be working as well.

But in all likelihood, this is PMS made worse by the fact that I puked up my pills when I got sick last week and then promptly lost the pill pack.

I'm going to be talking to Calvin's therapist this Thursday. My own doesn't have any idea as to where I could find a therapist who specializes in gender. Maybe Mrs. Foard will. I'm a little apprehensive about telling her, since she's a member of our church. However, she's bound by HIPPA laws, so the worst she could do is refer me to NARTH or something.

In the meantime, I am having some problems with my dysphoria battling with common sense. No. It's NOT okay for me to start giving myself hormones until I find a therapist and get clearance. I'd be better off looking for a way to bind that doesn't make me feel like my ribs are crumbling.

...

Mar. 9th, 2008 10:42 pm
I don't have a 4.0 anymore.

I have a 3.9.

It doesn't seem like a big deal. It's only a .1 drop.

But I don't have my 4.0 anymore.

And I just realized that I'm never going to get my 4.0 back.

FUCK.

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November 2010

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