May. 17th, 2008

Meh...

May. 17th, 2008 06:01 pm
Where's my winning lottery ticket? I want to quit my job. I don't want to deal with the BS that I KNOW is going to come when Betty gets back.

An update on the police brutality thing: the three witnesses the DA got to say that those three men were the gunmen who pledged to testify at the hearing today? No-shows, no explanation. They now have bench warrants. The judge has also recused herself of the case. And the cops are blaming the media for the change of story.

Riiiiight.

I want to try hypnosis therapy. I don't know why. I think it would be productive. For one, I'd be able to actually remember shit that I can't tell by my conscious memory if it did or didn't happen. Like, I have a memory of it, but it doesn't make sense for some reason or another. I might also find out why I'm holding on so tightly to trauma from 15+ years ago. The reason we came up with in therapy is that it was a betrayal of trust; not only did my parents fail to protect and help me, they also are failing to acknowledge that there was anything to protect me from or help me with.

While I'm sure that's why I resent my parents so much, that can't be the whole of why I refuse to let this stuff die. If it was, then working through that resentment would have made the memories a LITTLE less profound, at least.

Lasagna for dinner. YUM.

Tch...

May. 17th, 2008 08:00 pm
I am physically disabled. I might have use of my limbs and senses (with the exception of sight, it's getting to be D: I really need to wear my glasses... god, I hate those things...) but that doesn't mean that I am not disabled. I CANNOT digest certain foods. One type of food that my body absolutely cannot digest is whole grains.

Everywhere you look, food manufacturers are changing their grain products to WHOLE grains. I can't buy cereal anymore. No kidding. I've found maybe two that aren't made with whole grains. This makes it extremely difficult for me to eat any grains.

It's hard for me to do something NECESSARY FOR LIFE. It's not nearly as bad as it can get- if my gastroparesis continues to get worse, I could end up having to get my nutrition intravenously. We're not nearly at that point yet. But it's still NOT FAIR that I can't get proper nutrition anymore.

And you will never see me demanding that this change. Because I am in the MINORITY. HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of people should NOT have to change their dietary habits because a handful can't digest certain foods.

Likewise: if you are physically disabled, and can't do an event, it just sucks to be you. Suck it up and move on. Otherwise, I expect to see each and every one of these little assholes filing lawsuits against their school districts for not allowing physically disabled students on their football teams.

Mew...

May. 17th, 2008 11:26 pm
I... don't feel so good.

I'm terrified of going to work. I just sent an e-mail the Livenation about the difficulties we're having. I HATE conflict.

I'm trying to predict the future again. I need to stop doing that. It does me NO good and a whole lot of bad.

... I picked up the PSP version of FFII for $20 today. Woot woot.

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