Borders SO TOTALLY KICKED MY ASS. Almost $90. Fuck fuck there goes the money I set aside for bills. ^^;

It wasn't all me, though. Cal got two books- a book on the Phillies and Axl Rose's autobiography. I'm happy he's reading. He doesn't realize it, but his "stupid" moments are fewer and more far between, and his memory's getting better, too. I think some of it was sheer brain rot from watching Nickelodean all the freaking time.

I myself picked up a blank music notebook- nice too, leather-bound, $7- The Writer's Workshop in a Box, which was in the bargain bin for $5...

And The Testosterone Files, by Max Wolf Valerio. It's a book on transition, by a FTM.

My heart's pounding right now. It might not seem like a big deal to just pick up a book on the subject. It isn't I guess. It feels like a big deal. I wonder if that could be considered a babystep?

Cal's taking this wonderfully. I think he realizes that I'm seriously considering transition. I... need him to decide if I transition, whether he's going to stay with me. I can't say in good faith that that choice is a factor anymore, but it would be nice to know if I'm putting my relationship on the line for this.

We'll see what happens.

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josharchive

November 2010

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