May. 23rd, 2008 09:15 pm
Now that I've behaved like a complete ass, let's make it worse!

Cut for severe TMI. Click only if you want to read a short but EXPLICIT rant. You have been warned. )

Now that that's out of my system... >.>

For some reason, I've been thinking about the night "Joshua was born."

It was December. We were either in the process of being pummeled by an ice storm, or one had just passed. Either way, it was FUCKING cold out. And about, 3 in the morning. I went out in that mess, walked to the woods, and SCREAMED. I mean LOUD. I'm surprised no one got bitchy, as there are houses not far from there. Maybe they did, and the cops just got there after I was already done profaning the Lord's name and had gone home to TRY to sleep.

The next week or so was sheer hell. And then Scott found out. (Ex boyfriend Scott, not therapist Scott.) That made the next six months hell.

I've realized that I'm not anymore at peace with it than I was that night. More aware is probably the better phrase. For example, that TMI up there (you don't need to read it, just know it's sexual) is a good indication that I'm about to hit a phase where I want to do severe damage to my body for not being male. It used to take me completely by surprise, and the fact that I know it's coming makes it a little easier to cope with.

I don't feel so good. Schoolwork is being put off another day (yey). I just can't do it. I've exercised more self-control today than I've had to in a long, long time, and we all know that self-control isn't something I do well. The fact that I had THAT difficult of a time is indicative that I shouldn't be in a relationship at all, ever, and yet I have a neurotic need to be in one.

But to close this entry on a not-so-emoboi note, RDA started the day with a good belly laugh. Andrea finished her work yesterday right before five, so as soon as Joanna was settled, she went to ask for some more. And stood there, work in arms, talking about BS for TWENTY MINUTES. Someone dared Betty to wheel Andrea's chair up to her so she could get comfy, and Betty did it.

Everyone laughed for about five minutes after that. Just writing about it made me giggle just now. XD
I'm not trying to be difficult, obtuse, or to prove a point. I'm not being stupid, intentionally missing the point. I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I carried half a day of vacation time over from 2007. I did not use ANY time from 2008 before 2008. I have 2 1/2 days of vacation time still available to me. The problem OBVIOUSLY IS NOT:

1- Using my time as soon as I get it


2- Using time from the next year before that calendar year.

The only conclusion I can draw, right now, if my attendance in January and February is REALLY putting me in danger of missing my raise again, is that I'm not allowed to use my sick or vacation time.

I honestly don't understand. The total time I've taken since the beginning of the year is 10 days. One of my coworkers just went on a 2-week vacation: 10 days. What's the difference?

I've done everything that's been asked of me. I've made sure I didn't use 2008 time in 2007. I've made sure I'm not taking time for bullshit "because I want to" reasons. If I have an accumulation still, I'm OBVIOUSLY not taking it as soon as I'm entitled to it. So what's the problem? Honestly? Explain to me, in plain black and white, how vacation time works. PLEASE. I don't like being railroaded like this.

... the funny thing is, my boss is probably just as frustrated with this situation as I am at this point...


Apr. 3rd, 2008 10:21 pm
Attn: coworkers,

Why do you see me as a CHILD? Not just "the baby" of the department; a CHILD? Is it because I don't have the most "mature" interests? Because that's about all you know about me. Would it make you feel better if I actually enjoyed entertaining and shopping instead of playing video games and playing with fake currency? What about my reading materials? Romance and mystery a more "grown-up" choice than manga and fantasy? Lost .> Neon Genesis Evangelion?

The funny thing is, for all you see me as immature because I enjoy "kiddish" things in my spare time... I see you all as immature for judging someone by their hobbies and NOTHING else.

Funny how that works, huh?

Gaia has implemented several MP restrictions, one of which being that sellers cannot yank sales out from under bidders any longer. They have five minutes to cancel the auction; after that, it's locked in. I wouldn't have done it that way; I would have given it until there's a bid. Still, this is a FANTASTIC move and I think that the sellers who are screaming that this is going to bring on the collapse of the Gaian economy are going to be pleasantly surprised. Make buyers feel safe, and you'll HAVE more buyers.

I need to do my homeworks. I don't feel like I can. THIS isn't Bipolar, if I have it. It's also not PMS, although the time of month would indicate that. I have no idea what this is. I'm motivated for a day, down for one or two. Motivated, down. Motivated, down. It's too rapid to be Bipolar.

... I have Shonen Jump and Shojo Beat. For FREE. Curtis distributes them. Although we don't get them in our boxes of mags; Cal's buddied up to one of the bigwigs in New Milford, and told this guy that his significant other is a big anime fan.

Homework. Must do homework.
Wow, I got all kinds of crap done tonight. Read a chapter of Accounting, a chapter of Nutrition, did the accounting checkpoint and the nutrition DQ, uploaded the next chapter of Kharlan... Not a bad night. Got all my schoolwork done anyway. Didn't get any writing done, but I'm shootin' for tomorrow.

Okay, SERIOUSLY wanted someone to shoot me at work. There was an error on an ATS we got last week. Curt didn't catch it, Gina didn't catch it. I only caught it because the very final step of the process required me to LOOK at it. I had to go rescue that work from the mailroom before they sent it out. My god, I thought I was going to be lynched. :x

As if that wasn't enough, Source has bought out RS2. Now, consider this: Source is our LARGEST consultant. Several hundred accounts. And dear god are they a royal pain in the ass. The send triplicate and quadruplicate work (and claim they DIDN'T...), demand we research why they weren't paid for a landslide of titles EVERY quarter when they WERE- they're just too damn impatient to wait for the checks. And, here's an example of their stupidity: They tried to claim a title that is distributed in the US only for... Loblaws, I believe it was. Loblaws or Zellers, one of the two. My Canadian friends will tell you that those chains are indeed CANADIAN.

So they're claiming this Canadian chain sold like, 20 copies of this magazine that isn't distributed in Canada. And they sent us, as backup for proof that they had a contract, the amendment with that title crossed out and "US distribution only" written in.


Although the AE for that title requested a copy of that research. "It's not distributed in Canada. It's NEVER been distributed in Canada. Our figures show no Canadian sales. It'll be VERY interesting to see their wholesaler data backing up those sales."

So these people are, at best, complete morons. A few years ago a part of the company split and formed RS2. Since then, Source has been steadily losing accounts to RS2, with the exception of Source managing to gain back all of the Canadian accounts (lulz more claims for titles they never got...). At that point, we were all like, "Oh GOD no. D:" Because RS2 is INFINITELY easier to work with than Source.

So it was quiet today. I was like, one of two clerks still at their desk. Joanna got on the phone with one of the developers and was like, "Oh hai, Source bought RS2, lulz FAIL..."

And my instant thought was, "Oh no. Oh GOD now. SHOOT ME NOW."

And in amusing news, I choked on an egg yolk tonight. I was coughing for like, fifteen minutes. My throat hurts nao. :(


Mar. 14th, 2008 07:47 pm
Dear Warren,

You used that phrase again. "I want you to be healthy and happy."

You did it AGAIN.

You son of a BITCH. Seriously. Where was that concern when I was on a prescription drug that stripped me of my emotions and conscience? Where was it when I was depressed, and needed someone to talk to? I had long-distance to Canada and before you moved, I had your phone number, so you knew I wasn't going to abuse it. Why didn't I have your phone number, dude?

Why didn't you care enough about my happiness to realize that I really meant it when I said I felt like you were ignoring me, to start paying attention? Why the hell did you let it get so bad that you convinced me that you didn't give half a shit about me?

There are no words, Warren. There simply are no words.


Now that that's out of my system, real post FTW.

One of the fantastic things about writing is that the explanation for everything that doesn't quite work in reality is that it's not BASED in reality. Human pregnancies don't work as I wrote it, I don't think. But then again, it wasn't a human who was pregnant. It was a Dragon. What do Draconic pregnancies look like?

I have no flippin' clue, since they don't exist. But I bet they wouldn't look like a human pregnancy.

That's me getting away with being a fucking LAZY writer.


I wish I wasn't so damn empathic. One of my coworkers is a very negative person. And when she's in a foul mood, she throws her bad energy all over the fucking place. It really bugs me. I'm not there to deal with her negative emotions, I have enough of those myself. I don't need hers. I'm there to do my work and get paid. Seriously, leave that shit at home. Get a Livejournal to dump it on or something.


My grandfather actually decided to drive back to Florida to bitch at them for losing the title to his car. I can kind of understand where he's coming from; he's practically deaf, he won't make much progress on the phone. But still- he's pushing 90. Part of why he's moving in here is because he should neither live alone NOR DRIVE. And he's driving to fucking Florida. Again.

He's also visiting my aunt Bobbie. Why he wants to do THAT is ENTIRELY beyond me, strung-out bitch she is. You think my history with drugs is shady? Maybe I drink to much? Check this lady out. I'm a fucking saint next to her. Honestly; she was at my graduation and if she's still the same, I wouldn't doubt that I could get junk from her if I wanted it.

Of course, being the rude, uncouth nephew that I am, that diminishes my chances. But all I'd have to do is play into her victim mentality again and the fact that I say "fuck" will be forgotten.

GOD, I wish I wasn't related to that thing.



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