Hmm...

According to my checkbook, I have about $60. According to the bank, about $900.

IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I'VE SEEN LAG THAT BAD.

The good news is that the $250 I transfered from my savings to my checking should clear tomorrow morning. We got The Bitch fixed last weekend. All it needed was a tuneup to stop the bucking, rough idle and difficult acceleration, but HOLY CRAP did it get bad. If it was cold, it would ONLY accelerate to 15mph. So... yeah. Minor or not, it NEEDED to get done. Because it's not minor anymore if it's resulting in the 15 minute drive to work taking 45.

There's a leak in our rear left wheel well. Not MAJOR, but brakes are, yanno, expensive. >.> I'd rather not wait until the leak destroys them.

So Calvin's supposed to get his bribe money from the Republicans Economic Stimulus payment by Friday. His SN ends in 00, so he's right up front for it. Mine ends in 33, so I've got to wait until next Friday. :'( But goddamn, that money will be wonderful. I'm probably going to use a good chunk of it to get my fucking credit cards out of the danger zone. Apparently I decided that since I was focusing on one account at a time, I didn't need to pay attention to the rest and daskljdklfjkl FUCKING $4 AVAILABLE ON ONE WHAT THE FUCK. So yeah.

Cheese and rice, people. I guess it's my own fault. I could whine about how easy Magic Plastic can drag you down, but... Yeah. I didn't have this problem before Calvin, and no, I'm not blaming him. I'm blaming my dumb ass for being completely incapable of saying "no."

But on the bright side, I've paid down $450 to my Dell account. Only $1200 to go on that one.

>.>

Homework nao... *sigh*

(And yes, I know that the ESP isn't just the Republicans. It's our whole idiotic government. Another $600 per person is going to fix our economy? REALLY? Methinks that our politicians need a nice course in economics...)

I know, I know.

At least I'm not making you all move to another journal AGAIN.

LAST time, guys. I promise.

&hearts

Now all I have to do is decide which is effective without being cliched- Home by Depeche Mode, or Life is Beautiful by Sixx:AM.

Fucking with the profile LATER. I NEED to do some homework. Or SOMETHING productive. Other than sitting here worrying about shit I can't control.

*kicks self in shins*

DO YOUR FUCKING HOMEWORK! Jesus FUCKING christ. I've sat here ALL FUCKING NIGHT and rubbernecked, mostly at things that happened MONTHS ago.

I had a night free of the Calvin and BLEW IT. Goddamn.

I guess it doesn't help that my hands hurt. I suppose I better actually, ya know... get an actual arthritis diagnosis so I can take something stronger for it than naproxin and acetaminophen. And no, I've never been officially diagnosed; but my mother was at 16, and says that my hands are starting to look like hers did at that age. Early morning/late night it's painful- or at least uncomfortable- to flex my fingers, and it's tight and hot around my knuckles.

Far as I know, that's arthritis. And I don't need to move my hands much to use a mouse. That might be why I didn't do my homework.

Or it might be the sudden ZOMG PMS self-esteem drop. Week and a half away; I'm surprised it didn't come on sooner. Usually I get PMDD shit by the end of the second week.

TMI, yes, I know.

Just an observation about gender: you know, I've noticed something about women. I am NOT misogynist. I've encountered a lot of FTMs that were horribly sexist (same with feminazi MTF, we're not unique) and I've prided myself quite a bit on my success in not demonizing women. I HATE my bits with the heat of two thousand suns, and I can't fathom why anyone would WANT them (sheepish apologies to llieno), but the fact is that girls usually do. It's not my place to project what boils down to my own insecurities on the whole gender.

But I LOATHE the statement, "Women can do anything that men can!" No. They can't. I can't pee standing up, and you'd be amazed at the difference that makes. Have any of these girls actually tried squatting? I dunno about any of you, but I had to, several times, in scouts. I ALWAYS ended up with a wet leg. ALWAYS. It was GROSS.

Barring the obvious, men have different nutritional needs than women do. That should be your first clue that something is different between our bodies. And no, it is NOT a bad thing that women are physically weaker than men. It just IS. For example, testosterone does a lot to naturally promote physical strength. Estrogen does not. If not being able to bench press as much as a man does gives you an inferiority complex, I'd suggest therapy.

Probably a gender therapist. *cough*meacupla*cough*

I don't know how true this is, but I can see it being true: in The Testosterone Files, Max observes that exercise actually starts causing his muscles to form out- something that didn't happen before testosterone. I don't know if it's a lack of confidence, my tendency to half-ass anything that I can't do perfectly, the lack of testosterone, or all of the above: but exercise does nothing for me. It doesn't even help my stamina level.

I don't want a soft, feminine body. I was a strong, pleasingly muscled, masculine body. And unless I pump myself full of steroids, I will not get that as a woman.

... Okay, homework attempt #5... are you done spitting random shit at me yet, brain, or am I going to have to get a lobotomy?