I just sent a message to an old friend. One whom I treated... poorly, to say the least. It was less in my actions (as far as I know) and more in my INactions. Like a lot of people from my past, I'm no longer in contact with him just because I... stopped contacting him. Poofed. Disappeared.
I'd like to say that I'm a different person than I was then- well, I am. I mean, back then I was an insecure, timid little girl who tried to establish an identity through sex and highly dramatic romantic entanglements. I'm now a transguy who has quite a bit of disdain for such situations (DESPITE THE FACT THAT I KEEP WANTING TO THROW MYSELF INTO ONE JFDKJSKLJS).
... I think the "transguy" thing would be the most shocking to anyone from my past, really, although no one I've been REALLY close to that I've told has had, "OMG NO WAI!" reactions. Matt's reaction was, "I should be surprised but I'm not." Lisa's was, "Congrats, you finally figured it out!"
Calvin told me that I has a lot of the "symptoms" of being a guy when I told him. His therapist remarked about me having a masculine aura, whatever the fuck that means.
Am I trying to self-validate again? Crap. Gotta stop that.
Anyway, yeah. I'm going to be anxious until I hear SOMETHING back from him. Hopefully I will.
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