![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
josharchive... mind off gender shit for a few minutes. Can we say, "Misdirected anger"?
Well, not really. I AM pissed.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
glorious and I were planning an LJ RPG. It'll be held on IJ now, probably, because if we HAVE to have ads, we want them to be for a company that NEEDS them. Aside from the fact that it says that we can create basic accounts until tomorrow and- well... no basic account option. AND I didn't complete registration and it registered the account ANYWAY.
LORD.
But it was nice to have something else to focus aggression on for a little bit.
Okay, yeah. Trans stuff.
I feel so, so trapped. Every chapter of that book I read, I find so much I could have written. I thought I was the only one, for example, who thought that SRS was too primitive to go through with. Science-fiction-y. Feeling awkward with girls when I was little, not understanding why I was being shunned.
When I was in kindergarten, I had one friend, a girl who was a bit of a tomboy. We played Legend of Zelda on the playground. I would play Link or Ganon. I REFUSED to play Zelda. We also would play Batman when we got together at her house; I was Batman, of course, and she alternated between being Batgirl and Robin.
I didn't quite realize that something was off, with me, until she got other friends. That's when the shunning started for me. I just kept to myself and learned to deal in my own way. And then I was a crybaby, so I couldn't even do that. I still have trouble crying unless you REALLY piss me off. If we're arguing IRL and I start crying, get the fuck away from me and QUICKLY, because I'm two steps from destroying shit. That's how I handle anger. I cry, and then I break stuff.
... My first boyfriend after Jason, Andrew. We became really good friends and started liking each other. So we decided to internet-date. Him in Canada (I have a thing for Canadians, it seems) and me in New Jersey. Well, he broke that off after a trip to the psych ward (he was a lil' emotional, too) by telling me that he was gay. A lot of drama ensued afterwards (not involving him being gay, of course).
But I wonder what his reaction would be to discovering that I actually was a guy all along would be. If he's still the same, he'd either die laughing or pitch a fit.
Wonder how he's doing, anyway.
... that would require finding any of the people from that period of my life, and I'm not doing that. So.
Ramble done for now.
Well, not really. I AM pissed.
glorious and I were planning an LJ RPG. It'll be held on IJ now, probably, because if we HAVE to have ads, we want them to be for a company that NEEDS them. Aside from the fact that it says that we can create basic accounts until tomorrow and- well... no basic account option. AND I didn't complete registration and it registered the account ANYWAY.LORD.
But it was nice to have something else to focus aggression on for a little bit.
Okay, yeah. Trans stuff.
I feel so, so trapped. Every chapter of that book I read, I find so much I could have written. I thought I was the only one, for example, who thought that SRS was too primitive to go through with. Science-fiction-y. Feeling awkward with girls when I was little, not understanding why I was being shunned.
When I was in kindergarten, I had one friend, a girl who was a bit of a tomboy. We played Legend of Zelda on the playground. I would play Link or Ganon. I REFUSED to play Zelda. We also would play Batman when we got together at her house; I was Batman, of course, and she alternated between being Batgirl and Robin.
I didn't quite realize that something was off, with me, until she got other friends. That's when the shunning started for me. I just kept to myself and learned to deal in my own way. And then I was a crybaby, so I couldn't even do that. I still have trouble crying unless you REALLY piss me off. If we're arguing IRL and I start crying, get the fuck away from me and QUICKLY, because I'm two steps from destroying shit. That's how I handle anger. I cry, and then I break stuff.
... My first boyfriend after Jason, Andrew. We became really good friends and started liking each other. So we decided to internet-date. Him in Canada (I have a thing for Canadians, it seems) and me in New Jersey. Well, he broke that off after a trip to the psych ward (he was a lil' emotional, too) by telling me that he was gay. A lot of drama ensued afterwards (not involving him being gay, of course).
But I wonder what his reaction would be to discovering that I actually was a guy all along would be. If he's still the same, he'd either die laughing or pitch a fit.
Wonder how he's doing, anyway.
... that would require finding any of the people from that period of my life, and I'm not doing that. So.
Ramble done for now.
